Publisher Harper Perennial. Release 05 August Search for a digital library with this title Search by city, ZIP code, or library name Learn more about precise location detection. View more libraries New York Times Bestseller A collection of essays spanning politics, criticism, and feminism from one of the most-watched young cultural observers of her generation, Roxane Gay.
Do they feel remorse or anger or guilt? Did they see their victims as people with rights or did they just take what they want? Also if I recall correctly, all of the perpetrators in this book are male.
Is Gay going after the patriarchy? I thought of a quote from Laurie Penny that keeps resurrecting itself for many of the nonfiction books I am reading these days. Nor is this meant to suggest that women cannot force unwanted sexual contact on any person that could constitute rape. But I think the very twisted concept of strength and power in America and realistically worldwide in every known civilized culture, is the perception of what it means to be a man.
And the converse of that which is ever present in the self-analysis of victims. Of the most heartbreaking of emotions are the ones where the folks were unsure at the time. It seems to me that both victims and perpetrators live in a binary world where everything is mutually exclusive.
It's either rape or it's not. Like there cannot exist nuance. The examples of this were: view spoiler [ the girl who had consented in the past, but had not given consent the last time. It's not as if consent should be considered global. Saying yes once doesn't mean yes forever. Or the young boy who had a sleepover and his friend's father gave him a hand job.
The notion that he may have enjoyed it on some level causes him confusion over his sexual orientation that has lasted his lifetime. The idea that any sexual interaction is binary and that consent to something means consent to everything. This book was heart wrenching and heartbreakingly sad as it showcases the after effects of the victims. I think these stories need voice. My perception of the book was that despite the efforts of both the survivors and Gay, its dripping in self-loathing, and negative self-judgement.
It's a sad commentary that just about every woman that I know has endured some type of unwanted, sexually-charged encounter; be it unwanted inuendo, stray comments or much worse.
What I found was a whole lot of self-flagellation and though self-aware; a lot of desire to wave it all away, not experience any of it. I think people on a whole and this comment goes well beyond sexual assault and the rape culture--or maybe it's a key component of rape culture , are just so tuned out of their emotional impact on anyone else that what is being described here is a microcosm of what is going on worldwide.
Humans are either oblivious to the impacts of their actions or just don't care. Perhaps as a result of the relentless pugilism in the way we tend to deal with and confront nearly all of life's challenges. As for the victims and I suppose in many ways all of us are victims , we tend to internalize, and isolate and the worst thing in the world is the idea that someone else would know about our pain and be frivolous or callous in the response.
We'd rather people not know than to view us as weak. This is a worldwide phenomenon that knows no racial, ethnic nor gender boundaries. When our peace of mind is stolen we become confused, weary, fragile, and humiliated.
Ultimately even I tend to wonder if there is any hope for humankind, because realistically the state of the world right now is the epitome of rape culture. Hold on tight. Edited to Add: The essays are designed to speak for themselves and the order etc all has some kind of organic, intended affect.
My issues with the book are that there is tremendous repetition, and there may have been too many essays. It's a lot to take in and all the misery turns compelling into a slog. This was not a tedious read, but fewer essays would have made this a better book.
Also there was no coherent structure to the order of the essays. Not enough essays on rape culture, but a metric ton on the aftermath of rape. A necessary but painful book. View all 10 comments. Sep 10, Katie. This just sent me in a fucking whirlwind. Read this book. Roxanne Gay is a fierce fucking force of nature who I now adore.
This book should be required reading. I feel like a bad person for not totally loving this book. It was just hard to get through and some of the stories didn't really move me one way or the other. I ended up just feeling sad while reading and finally finishing this book off with some wine. I think also that looking at rape culture is a huge undertaking, and so the stories could have flowed a bit better between them to the next story.
Also I wish that things were not left vague in a few stories. A few times I went wait what happened I feel like a bad person for not totally loving this book. A few times I went wait what happened when we had someone recounting their story. Fragments by Aubrey Hirsch 4 stars -the story begins when she is being harassed for taking birth control by her supposed friend James.
Apparently birth control equals putting out a certain signal blech. Hirsch begins telling stories about her time in college and the one disturbing story is about how after a night of drinking too much she woke up in a friend's room where he put her to keep her safe and took out her contacts while she was unconscious.
I full body shuddered. Slaughterhouse Island by Jill Christman 5 stars -Christman tells what sounds like a typical college story which makes me sad. A young girl meets a guy she feels meh towards, but still keeps hanging out with and one night things get ugly and he rapes her. She sees him again because part of you hopes for a different outcome. Nope, the outcome the second time is him attempting to rape her. At this point I put the book down and went to the gym to work out.
We have Schwartz telling her about everything "after" which I assumed to be her rape. I just found the whole essay to be more spoken poetry and it just jumped around a lot. Which I imagine was done to show how confused and separate a person feels after being raped.
I don't know. This one seemed off to me in a way. Melnick tells how she started giving blowjobs for attention and was led to believe that her body was her only thing to offer the world. At the end of the essay I don't know if she doesn't get that is not all she has to offer. Spectator by Brandon Taylor 3 stars -this was hard to read.
Recounting memories of their rapist who was also their uncle. The story flits around a bit though with Taylor remembering their mother who also died and seems to segue into how Taylor is judgey towards his brother who is judgey towards them.
The Sun by Emma Smith-Stevens 5 stars -Stevens recounts tales of being objectified at an early age 13 by older men her whole life. And then the story gets even scarier if possible when she tells how she got invited to a party with 5 other teen boys she was the only girl while they watched porn. She chose one in order to not be raped by all and was called "whore" and "slut" at school. I think at this point I took another break from the book. I felt for McKenna and loved the essay overall.
I just couldn't understand when the person this essay was written for was in McKenna's life and also the other people who were named after. Only the Lonely by Lisa Mecham 2 stars -This was confusing. A woman at a Yankee swap gets a vibrator and somehow it signifies something about her marriage.
I was just left confused. Martir ties in her mother's own history of rape with her history of rape which happened when she was 6 years old. I just hated how everyone kept telling her that what happened to her wasn't as bad as what happened to her mother. I just died a little inside while reading this essay. Sheedy talks about being a young actress in Hollywood and being told she was "fat. She recounts discussions with other young actresses who got typecast and told to lose weight, be more sexy, or told they were not seen as sexually desirable.
The Ways We Are Taught to Be a Girl by xTx 5 stars -a girl's friend lures her she won't say it, I will to be forced to be alone with her and her brothers and how they kissed their sister with their tongues and told her to do it too. And the story is the first lesson on how to be a girl. How to keep things inside, to not tell everything horrible thing that happens to you because you don't want to be blamed you still will be blamed by some though.
There are five more lessons xTx imparts. Floccinaucinihilipilification by So Mayer 5 stars -How you survive being raped. Mayer's rapist was her father. Rape was where my rebellion started.
His small sense that--small as I was, an infant--I needed to be controlled was my hint that I had power that had to be curtailed. The Life Ruiner by Nora Salem 3 stars -Salem recounting being raped when she was 8 by a 18 year old boy who lived with her and her family. Salem's family was doing with the death of her brother and she didn't want to break her family apart by telling them what was done to her.
This one didn't grab me as much as the story before it which is why I gave it 3 stars. I do think it would have worked better if this one was up front and the stronger stories anchored the ending. She dances around it. I thought some of the comparisons she made about how women are not allowed to be angry but men in the NFL who are abusers are let back in was an off comparison. Just state flat out women are not allowed to be angry.
Shoot, I am a black woman and can't even show a grimace without being told I am being an angry black woman. It's been that way my whole life. Good Girls by Amy Jo Burns 4 stars - The truth no one told you is that, in order for a good girl to survive, she make some things disappear. You know because you used to be one of the good girls; you used to know how to forget. Utmost Resistance by V. Seek 2. I think Seek was trying to show this as a case of law, but it didn't work for me.
Bodies Against Borders by Michelle Chen 3 stars -This reads as a scientific article more than an essay. Chen goes into violence against women worldwide and it definitely made me sad. This was my favorite essay in this collection. I Said Yes by Anthony Frame 5 stars -Terrible story all of them are honestly of a man recounting when he was raped by his friend's father. I think the part that will grab at you is that his wife realizes he was raped when she sat and watched their wedding video which showed the change in his eyes after he got older.
Then Frame recounts how he was raped and then the toxic masculinity he experienced as he got older in school and college. Knowing Better by Samhita Mukhopadhyay 2. This one was pretty short so it didn't stay with me when I finished it.
Why I Stopped by Zoe Medeiros 4 stars -Why a rape survivor finally stopped telling people why she was raped. Picture Perfect by Sharisse Tracey 5 stars - A woman relaying how her black family wanted to be perfect, but ignored what Tracey's father was doing to her.
Starting off from a photo shoot that becomes sexualized to physical rape later is hard to read. The whole story is pretty heart wrenching. Tracey tells her mother, who does believe her, but her father stays. Also there is some BS about a counselor coworker of her father's who tells her mother that if he leaves it will damage the family. I hope that counselor is somewhere sitting on sharp tack. This is in my opinion, one of the second strongest stories in this collection. Fowles does a good job of showcasing the many sides to being raped.
Telling yourself that what happened wasn't that bad. Then Fowles recounts the many questions that are asked. Did you know him? Did you invite him in? Did you go willingly? Did he hurt you? Did he have a weapon? Did he force you? Did you wear something that provoked him? Did you want to have sex with him? Did you cook him dinner beforehand? Did you put on makeup? Did you tell him you liked him?
Did you tell him you loved him? Do you regret anything you did that night? How bad was it really? Watching Little House on the Prairie and seeing the Sylvia episodes. And then the sadness when Stokes takes her father's definition of rape and doesn't understand that it's not the only way to assault and harm a woman.
Stokes blames herself after she is raped anyway because she had been drinking and hurt her left making herself vulnerable.
The whole essay just like the two preceding it was very strong. Invisible Light Waves by Meredith Talusan 3. Getting Home by Nicole Boyce 3 stars -This jumps around and doesn't really land in the end for me. I think the main reason why I didn't rate this one higher was because it was kind of a stream of consciousness thing that didn't work for me.
Sep 15, Nadia rated it it was amazing Shelves: non-fiction , best-of I don't even know where to start reviewing this, Not That Bad evoked so much reaction in me and I feel very privileged to have the opportunity to read it. I took my time reading this book, not because I didn't like it but because it is not an easy read. Each story in Not That Bad is written by someone who experienced rape or sexual abuse in some form.
There is suffering, pain, depression, hate, self-blame All of these emot I don't even know where to start reviewing this, Not That Bad evoked so much reaction in me and I feel very privileged to have the opportunity to read it. All of these emotions feel very real, because they are real, this really happened, it is still happening and it is shocking.
I would urge everyone to read this. This I think is a very important read, but also definitely not one for the faint of heart. And these women's stories need to be heard.
Well worth picki This I think is a very important read, but also definitely not one for the faint of heart. In a critical examination of health, we find that alongside the move toward wellness as a state that the individual is responsible to in part produce, there is a roll-back of public programs. This book explores how this "good health imperative" is not as apolitical as one might assume. The more the individual is the locus of health, the less structural and historical issues that create health disparities are considered.
It will benefit readers who are interested to think critically about normalization to produce "healthy bodies. This volume is primarily of interest to academics, students, public health and medical professionals, and readers who are interested in critically examining health from philosophical perspective in order to understand how we can celebrate the value of healthy behavior without reinforcing discrimination.
For those just developing an awareness of feminism or hoping to learn more about an immensely complicated movement, this handbook should cover the basic ideas which will help you to further develop your own type of feminism. But, as the movement spread, a conflict emerged among feminist supporters and detractors about how punishment should be doled out and how justice should be served.
The New Sex Wars reveals that these clashes are nothing new. By circumventing law altogether, MeToo has led us to question whether justice can be served outside of the courtroom.
Cossman argues for a different way forward—one based on reparative models that focus on shared desired outcomes and the willingness to understand the other side. Thoughtful and compelling, The New Sex Wars explores what can been learned from these stories, what traps we repeatedly fall into, how we have been denied our anger, and where to begin to make law work. Score: 1.
From hot feminist sex to a trendy feminist up-do, the bold and brilliant minds behind Reductress reveal the secrets to being super progressive—and cool, hip, and pretty. Feminism today means demanding gender equality—and a fabulous manicure.
We may have come a long way, baby, but we have a long way to go. How to Win at Feminism is the road map to get there! This work quickly skyrocketed in popularity across both academic and nonacademic audiences.
Representative of the increasingly public-facing authoethnographic scholarship of feminist academic women, Gay's work is a product of its time.
Palabra de director Pedro J. Megan Maxwell. Bad Ash 2. Sin miedo Alina Not. Sin miedo al destino Edgardo Arredondo. La chica italiana Lucinda Riley.
0コメント